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July 16 2017

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Just if anyone was wondering WHY the NYPD hates Mayor Bill DeBlasio so much: he openly admitted he sometimes worried about his black son and what would happen if he got into confrontations with the police.

That is literally all he did and now they want to ruin him.

I’m aghast.

THE ONLY REASON WHY THEY WOULD LEAVE HIS SON ALONE IS BECAUSE OF HIS FATHERS POSITION… after that, he would be in the same boat like the rest of us. Thats the ONLY reason why cops wont fuck with him

America can’t stand being reminded of the trials of Black life, but even more so when politicians do the reminding. The reaction was the same when President Obama had the nerve to admit that, if he’d had a son he’d have looked like Trayvon Martin. They lost their minds.

He mentioned that he and his wife have told their son how to conduct himself if he ever gets stopped by the police, so the NYPD now loathes him for “throwing them under the bus” to the point where they turned their backs on him at services for one of the murdered officers.

If you ever wonder where this absolutist with-us-or-against-us mentality about law enforcement comes from, welp. 

This is true but not the whole truth— It’s worth noting that he ran his campaign on an anti stop and frisk platform and on the idea that cops are using excessive power and racism. He didn’t just say that one thing, it was probably his most popular add, and he ran his campaign with that focus, that cops weren’t doing their jobs right. He has also clashed with the NYPD over twitter, when the NYPD put out a statement saying that the protesters all had “blood on their hands” he replied stating that was extremist and untrue, and that we must realize this was not the fault of people asking for justice. 

They hate him because he’s the first mayor to speak out against them, he’s the first mayor not to cozy up next to the NYPD and smile and do as they want. So they’re disrespecting him and acting like complete power hungry assholes. And he’ll probably lose the next election for it. The cops are an extremely powerful segment in the politics of new york— their endorsements carry lots of weight, as do the huge amounts of money they donate, and the volunteer time they put in to elections. 

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in the shallows


mama didn’t raise no healthy eater

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before i die i want to see the northern lights preferably with whoever my future person ends up being. if yr my soulmate pls start the itinerary

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Underrated Chewie picture

If you a fly gal get your nails done
Get a pedicure, get your hair did







honey is the only food product that never spoils. there are pots of honey that are over five thousand years old and still completely edible

i also want to point out we know it tastes the same even after thousands of years b/c archaeologists who discovered two thousand year old honey tasted it. presumably right after they looked at each other and went “what the hell here goes nothing”

I’m pretty sure they also identify human remains by taste. Archaeologists are straight up freaks.

No, no no… you identify bone from rock or other substances by touching it to your tongue. If it sticks, it’s bone. The taste itself has nothing to do with it. And most archaeologists won’t lick human bones if they know they’re human.

…and I realize that doesn’t actually do much to prove archaeologists aren’t freaks.

mai nam is jane
and wen i dig
i fynde some roks
both smol and big
i put my tung
upon the stone
for science yes
i lik the bone

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ya party girl is officially home

represent your local ‘single at a wedding’ by sitting at the edge of the dance floor and screeching at the top of your lungs every time a slow song plays

oh my god this dj is going to murder me he just
keeps playing slow song after slow song

when am i Not going to be the awkward single sitting at the edge of the dance floor during slow songs

narrative lens in 17776 (and yes, that’s a pun)


17776 is about humanity, immortality, purpose, and football — told from the perspective of three sentient space probes wandering through outer space. but when you think about it, the space probes don’t… need to be there. i mean, why? it’s a story that uses football as a concrete way to dig into the issue of boredom in immortality. even if jon bois really, reeeaaally wanted to sneak in a subplot about a computer becoming sentient, it could have just been an abandoned laptop in a forgotten part of chicago or something. so… why pioneer nine? why space probes at all?

the answer is: narrative lens.

and yes, that’s a pun.

17776 is designed at the beginning (with the disintegrating article and then the calendar format of chapter 1) so that a reader could potentially feel nine’s distress as nine slips into sentience. after that, the story is designed so that the reader explores the far-future setting through nine’s questioning of their fellow space probes. if the author had simply immersed us in the dialogue of the durazos without any context, we might have eventually picked up on the setting and themes, but because nine is an outsider, nine’s perspective allows questions to be asked that would otherwise have gone unanswered. for example: “what is this?“ “football!” “don’t humans have better things to do?” “nope!”

(side note: yes, i’m aware that literature profs tell you you’re not supposed to make claims about what the reader feels, but i’m attempting to approach 17776 as a designed product bc that seems most appropriate right now. see also: me typing in lowercase.)

additionally, and this may be already obvious, but the predicament of nine, ten and juice serves as a useful parallel for the predicament of the humans. the july 8th upda7e makes this clear:

and just a few moments before this, nine says: “All these people seem so normal… But in some ways, it’s like they’re broken.” note the word choice; this is a word you use for machines, not people. since nine is a machine, it’s the only way nine knows how to process this experience, and it furthers the development of the immortality->purposelessness theme.

so 17776 has established the comparison that humans without suffering are like broken machines. but then, in the next chapter, we see nancy reflecting on the same issues that the space probes were discussing, and it doesn’t end on the same dissatisfied, negative note. she tells her companion about her inability to make a mark on the world, and she says: “There’s nowhere left to write. I think I’m just a bookmark.”

and he responds:

cool, huh?

this brings me to my last point. why a space probe, specifically? why not a time-traveler, or some other kind of computer, or an alien species?

it’s been argued that every work of fiction, whether it’s about suburban america or a far-off fantasy universe, whether it’s about the past, the present, or the future, all stories are nevertheless grounded in the here-and-now. we wouldn’t be interested in reading about nine and ten and juice if we couldn’t relate to them as humans in the early 21st century. so even though speculative fiction is ostensibly used to look outward, we inevitably end up looking inward instead, because it’s the only thing we know how to do.

that applies to 17776 as well. this may be a story about the far future, but it interests us because it asks questions about the here-and-now: why do we seek entertainment? what gives us purpose? does death make us human? 17776 is a narrative lens that aims into the fictional future in order to explore the real present, just as nine is a space probe — a lens made for looking outward — that finds themselves looking inward instead. nine isn’t just the main character or useful outsider POV. nine symbolizes the function of speculative fiction in our society.

and that’s my ridiculously long, severely lame, analysis-filled pun about 17776 and narrative lens.

having a hard time being alone at this wedding when they’re playing can’t help falling in love w you

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Keanu Thieves (via mushroombirdornaments)

I love this man


who’s your mom’s celebrity crush? if you don’t know she’s not mom’ing hard enough

July 15 2017

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🍷I’m fine

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